Let’s face it, some people in life are just not meant to be trusted.
Whether it is a bank executive lying to you about your bank fees, or a property manager lying to you about an inspection, trust is a very precious commodity and some would say- should not be given too freely.
My Father always tells me, to watch how people treat other people, because keeping up a façade is a lot of work and eventually, it will slip, revealing who they truly ARE.
Here are some tell-tale signs that you may be dealing with someone, who is a bit less than trustworthy:
- The eyes have it
Eye contact is not necessarily the sole determiner of trustworthiness, however scientific tests have shown that liars tend to have increased pupil size, which indicates tension and concentration.
- Body Language
If a persons’ body language appears tense, if they press their lips together, play with their hair and nails or gesture towards themselves when you ask a difficult question, they may be lying to you.
- Do they uphold commitments?
If a person makes a habit of showing up late or even fails to show up to commitments at all, they are not only showing you they are untrustworthy, but also unprofessional or in a personal context, flaky- not someone you can count on.
- Note how they respond to difficult or challenging questions
If they change the subject or avoid answering the question, this may be an indication that they are hiding something.
- Pay attention to their speech
Research suggests, that people who are lying use fewer first-person pronouns, such as “I”.
Also people who lie, are often anxious and guilty, which shows up in their vocabulary and they tend to use negative emotion words like, “ hate, sad, worthless”.
They also use less detail when describing something and may give justifications for what they say, even if they haven’t been asked.
They will also use less exclusionary words like “except or but”, as these words indicate a distinction, between what did and didn’t happen.
- Mutuality
If you find that you always have to ask them for important information, chase them down, or can’t get help when you ask them for it, you are probably not dealing with a trustworthy person.
- How fast are they moving?
If a person presses you for a quick commitment, constantly flatters you, tries to isolate you from colleagues, friends and family, they are most likely abusive and untrustworthy.
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